THE FERENGI RULES OF ACQUISITION


There are 285 Rules of Acquisition which guide all Ferengi business deals. This is a list of all of the rules I know of, if anyone can fill in the gaps or correct any mistakes them please E-Mail me

No.RuleSourceWave
1.Once you have their money, you never give it back.Rom, "The Nagus"
3.Never spend more for an Acquisition than you have to.Quark, "The Maquis, Part II"
6.Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.Zek, "The Nagus"
7.Keep your ears open.Odo, "In the Hands of the Prophets"
8.Small print leads to large risk.
9.Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. Nog, "The Storyteller"
10.Greed is eternal. Quark, "Prophet Motive"
12.Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
13.Anything worth doing is worth doing twice. The Making of ST:DS9
16.A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along). Quark, "Melora"
17.A contract is a contract is a contract--but only between Ferengi. Rom, Quark, Brunt, and Gint, "Body Parts"
18.A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. Ben Sisko and Nog, "Heart of Stone"
19.Satisfaction is not guaranteed. Quark, "Meridian"
21.Never place friendship before profit. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
22.A wise man can hear profit in the wind. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
27.There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
31.Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about, instead. Quark, "The Siege"
33.It never hurts to suck up to the boss. Quark and Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
34.War is good for business. Quark, "Destiny"
35.Peace is good for business. Dax, "Destiny"
40.She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
41.Profit is its own reward. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
44.Never confuse wisdom with luck. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
47.Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own. Quark, "Rivals"
48.The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition"
52.Never ask when you can take. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
57.Good customers are as rare as Latinum. Treasure them. Quark, "Armageddon Game"
58.There is no substitute for success. Pocket Books: Rules of Acuisition
59.Free advice is seldom cheap. Quark, "Rules of Acquisition"
60.Keep your lies consistent. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
62.The riskier the road, the greater the profit. Pel, "Rules of Acquisition", Quark, "Little Green Men"
65.Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
75.Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum. Quark, "Civil Defense"
76.Every once in a while declare peace... It confuses the hell out of your enemies. Quark, "The Homecoming"
79.Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
82.The flimsier the product, the higher the price. Pcoket Books: Rules of Acquisition
85.Never let the competition know what you're thinking. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
89.Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
94.Females and finances don't mix. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
95.Expand or die. Kafar, "False Profits"
96.For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule.(except when there's not)Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
97.Enough... is never enough. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
99.Trust is the biggest liability of all. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
102.Nature decays, but Latinum is forever. Quark and Nog, "The Jem'Hadar"
104.Faith moves mountains... of inventory. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
106.There is no honor in poverty. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
109.Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. Quark, "Rivals"
111.Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them. Ben Sisko, "Past Tense I", Worf, "The Darkness and the Light"
112.Never have sex with the boss' sister. Quark
117.Everything is for sale, including friendship. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
123.Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
125.You can't make a deal when you're dead. Quark, "The Siege of AR-558"
139.Wives serve. Brothers inherit. Odo, "Necessary Evil"
141.Only fools pay retail. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
144.There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
162.Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
177.Know your enemies... but do business with them always. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
181.Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
189.Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
190.Hear All, Trust nothingSisko and Nog
192.Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
194.It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. Quark, "Whispers"
202.The justification of profit is profit. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
203.New customers are like razor-toothed Greeworms.. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back! Rom, "Little Green Men"
208.Sometimes the only thing more dngerous than a question is an answer Zek
211.Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them. Grimp, "Bar Association"
214.Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach. Quark, "The Maquis, Part I"
217.You can't free a fish from water. Quark, "Past Tense, Part I"
219.Always know what you're buying. Quark, "The Abandoned"
223.Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
229.Latinum lasts longer than lust. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
236.You can't buy fate. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
239.Never be afraid to mislabel a product. Gint, "Body Parts"
242.More is good... all is better. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
255.A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
261.A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
263.Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Latinum. Rom, "Bar Association"
266.When in doubt, lie. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
284.Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi. Pocket Books: Rules of Acquisition
285.No good deed ever goes unpunished. Quark, "The Collaborator"